MILLIONAIRE
A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.
The woman replied, "A billionaire..."
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TOO MUCH EXPENSIVE FOOD
A skinflint never gave his family anything to eat except plain rice. However, a wooden fish was hung over the dining table. Each time they had taken a mouthful of rice, the children were ordered to look at the fish and imagine that they had taken a bite of it. To maintain the illusion and show appreciation of the food, they were to make an audible chewing noise.
One day, the youngest child, aged four, absent-mindedly made a whole string of sucking and swallowing noises.
The miser blew his top.
"What!" he exclaimed.
"Didn't I tell you that just one bite of ..
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BORROWING MONEY
"Glad to see you, old man. Can you lend me five dollars ?
"Sorry, but I haven't a cent with me today"
"And at home ?"
"They're all very well, thank you, very well".
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FRIEND FOR DINNER
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"
"I know all that."
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
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