Tue06192018

LAST_UPDATE10:10:15 AM

RELATIVES.....

A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An early discussion had led to argument, and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs,, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours ?""Yes" The husband replied "In-laws" ..
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WHY DIDN'T YOU REFUSE IT?

After the Football match, a player went home with a sorrowful face. His surprised wife asked: - Why are you so sad? What's the matter? He answered sadly: - Today I got a Yellow card. - So, did you want to get it? - Of course not. The wife was upset: - If you didn't want to get it why didn't you refuse it? But you did accept it, so now you are sad.   ..
1

Stone and Stone - Breaker

A very strict officer was talking to some new soldiers whom he had to train. He had never seen them before, so he began:“My name is Stone, and I’m even harder than stone, so do what I tell you or there’ll be trouble. Don’t try any tricks with me, and then we’ll get on well together.”Then he went to each soldier one after the other and asked him his name. “Speak loudly so that everyone can hear you clearly,” he said, and don’t forget to call me "sir".Each soldier told him his name, until he came to the ..
1

Taking a train

Lady: Is this my train?  Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company.  Lady: Don’t try to be funny. I meant to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.  Station Master: No Madam, I’m afraid it’s too heavy.  ..
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BECAUSE OF ABSENCE

Mother: Why did you get such a low mark on that test? Junior: Because of absence. Mother: You mean you were absent on the day of the test? Junior: No, but the kid who sits next to me was. ..
1

LET THEM QUIT THE GAME EARLY !

A wife was telling her "Football Referee" husband:- Dear! There is an anniversary of death in my parents family. You'll prepare to go there with me, won't you?- Alas! I can't go, because this afternoon I have to work as a referee for the Championship Cup Competition Football Match. You'll have to go alone!- That's unacceptable! It's my Great Grandma. If you don't come, my relatives will insult me.- So, when will the anniversary begin? -At 5:00pm.- Alas! The match will finish at 5:15pm- My God! What a strange man you are! Just tell the players you want ..
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THE CHILD ANH HIS MOTHER

THE CHILD ANH HIS MOTHER A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?” The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: “It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!” The child replied innocently: “Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.” ..
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WRONG EMAIL ADDRESS

WRONG EMAIL ADDRESS A couple going on vacation but his wife was on a business trip so he went to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email. Unfortunately, when typing her address, he mistyped a letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead ..
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WHAT TIME DOES THE LIBRARY OPEN?

"What time does the library open?" the man on the phone asked.  "Nine A.M." came the reply. "And what's the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?" "Not until nine A.M.?" the man asked in a disappointed voice. "No, not till nine A.M.!" the librarian said. "Why do you want to get in before nine A.M.?" "Who said I wanted to get in?" the man sighed sadly. "I want to get out."   ..
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A HALF SUCCESS

A HALF SUCCESS “Hey, how about the render- vous?” “It can be said that a half of success” “What do you mean?” “I came to the dated place but she didn’t.” ..
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FICTION BOOK

  FICTION BOOK A man walked into the book shop and asked the book seller : “I want to buy a book named Man is the ruler of woman.” “Fiction book are sold in the next room.” ..
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SHE'S MY WIFE

  One of the guest turned to a man by his side to criticize the singing of the woman who was trying to entertain them. "What a terrible voice! Do you know who she is ?" "Yes", was the answer. "She's my wife" "Oh, I beg your pardon. Of course, it isn't her voice, really. It's the stuff she has to sing. I wonder who wrote that awful song ?" "I did", was the answer. ..
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tuyen sinh lien thong dieu duong 2017, tuyen sinh lien thong cao dang duoc, tuyen sinh lien thong su pham mam non