Wed12132017

LAST_UPDATE10:36:08 AM

A special gift

Three rich brothers each wanted to do something special for their elderly mother on Mother's Day. The first brother bought her a huge house. The second brother gave her a limousine, with a driver. The third brother remembered that his mother used to love to read the Bible, but couldn't see well anymore, so he got her a specially trained parrot that could recite any verse from the Bible on demand. Soon, the brothers received thank-you notes from their mother. The first son's note said, "The house you bought me is much too big! I only live in a ..
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Difference Between Men and Women

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want. 2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. 4. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must ..
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Dream

One morning, after she woke up, a woman told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond necklace for Valentine’s Day. What do you think it means?” “Maybe you’ll find out tonight…,” he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it – to find a book entitled: ”The Meaning of Dreams.” ..
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Elevator

A village boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, especially two shiny walls that could move apart, and back together again. The boy asked his father, “ What is this father?” The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don’t know what it is.” While the boy and his father were watching wide- eyed, an old lady, limping slightly, and with a cane, slowly walks up to the moving walls, and presses a button. The walls opened, and the lady walks ..
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Who found America?

Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map.  Maria: This is it.  Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?  Class: Maria did.  ..
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The Best Restaurant

There were three restauraunts on the same block. One day one of them put up a sign which said "The Best Restaurant in the City." The next day, the largest restaurant on the block put up a larger sign which said "The Best Restaurant in the World." On the third day, the smallest restaurant put up a small sign which said "The Best Restaurant on this Block."  ..
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I am the ninth letter of the alphabet !!

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".  Student: I is the.... Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I". Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.  ..
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A big decision

A six-year-old boy walked up to his father one day and announced, 'Daddy, I'd like to get married.' His father replied hesitantly, 'Sure, son, do you have anyone special in mind?' 'Yes,' answered the boy. 'I want to marry Grandma.' 'Now, wait a minute,' said his father. 'You don't think I'd let you get married with my mother, do you?' 'Why not?' the boy asked. 'You married mine.' ..
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The Bum

A bum approaches a well dressed gentleman on the street. "Hey, Buddy, can you spare two dollars?" The well-dressed gentleman responds, "You are not going to spend in on liquor are you?" "No, sir, I don't drink," retorts the bum.   "You are not going to throw it away in some crap game, are you?" asks the gentleman. "No way, I don't gamble," answers the bum. "You wouldn't waste the money at a golf course for greens fees, would you?" asks the man. "Never," says the bum, "I don't play golf." The man asks the bum if he would like to come home ..
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How did you die ?

 Two men waiting at the pearly gates strike up a conversation. The first man asks the second. "So, how'd you die?"  "I froze to death," says the second. "That's awful," says the first man. "How does it feel to freeze to death?" "It's very uncomfortable at first", says the second man. "You get the shakes, and you get pains  in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping. How about you, how did you die?"  "I had a heart attack," says the first man. "You ..
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Romance

An older couple was lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk. She said, "You use to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, then tried to get back to sleep.  A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me." Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.  Thirty seconds later she said, "Then you used to bite my neck." Angrily, he threw back the bed covers and got ..
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Forget it

"The thrill is gone from my marriage," Bill told his friend Doug.  "Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?" Doug suggested.  "But what if my wife finds out?"  "Heck, this is a new age we live in, Bill. Go ahead and tell her about it!"  So Bill went home and said, "Dear, I think an affair will bring us closer together." "Forget it," said his wife. "I've tried that - it never worked." (st) ..
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Khai giảng - Thông báo

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TRUNG TÂM NGOẠI NGỮ - TIN HỌC TÂY BẮC
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tuyen sinh lien thong dieu duong 2017, tuyen sinh lien thong cao dang duoc, tuyen sinh lien thong su pham mam non